At 42 Degrees

At 42 Degrees

Friday, July 5, 2013

Listening To My Heart

When it comes to our children's welfare, it is often said mothers have a innate instinct concerning what is best for their off spring. 

Being an older mother with two grown children and now finding myself as a mother with a special needs preschooler I am finding my mother's instinct to be even more highly attuned to my little one's needs. Be it teaching him sign language in the face of all the naysayers, or absolutely refusing to become unglued about potty training. 

Potty training is in progress, but in our home, there is not a little plastic potty in sight.

Despite a quite of bit of pressure to get my preschooler potty trained NOW, instincts tell me to take it very slowly.

So we are reading about potty training, we're talking about potty training, especially during every diaper change, and we waiting for Isaac's maturity in this area to evidence itself, which it is in numerous ways, but he's still not quite ready. 

And that's OK, it's a process with all children, and especially with a child that has communication challenges,...each day we're closer.

We're taking each day as it comes, finding the perfect place to put a sticker,...things take time, be it dealing with stonewalling insurance panels, seeking a new pediatrician (Isaac's retired), or trying to reconfigure a home office for TEACCH therapies. 

Perhaps I am relying so heavily on listening to my mother's heart, because there is often nothing plausible or predictable about our life at this moment. 

In the past twenty-five years, I've raised two children, wonderful men, whom I love and am so proud of,....but with Isaac, these past three years, I often find myself as bewildered as a first time mother.  Even when I find a technique that works with Isaac, like those blessed stickers for distraction while shopping,...there is no guarantee,...stickers will work our next shopping trip or while waiting for the three hours of previews before the feature movie to end, but those annoyingly long previews are another soapbox!

A year and half into this Apraxia/Autism venture, and life at times seems so noisy, with so many opinions and so much advice being sent our way. Often it sounds like static screaming from an electronic device impossible to discern. 

Which is best?
What to do?
How to do it?
We must do this!
We must do that!


Let me think, let me listen to my heart. 

What seems best, is not always so. What works for one child, will not always work for another. 

Do I seem distracted? Bemused? Overwhelmed?

I am.

Apraxia and Autism - it's a lot to take in. 

Our sole concern is for Isaac,...what is best for him, and we are doing the best we can to cut through the static and listen to our hearts (Daddies have intuitive hearts too!). We know, of course, we have to reason with our heads, and not be unreasonable: experts are experts for a reason, yet with so much conflicting information - hello, everyone says their way is THE best and a MUST,...we are straining to hear what our hearts are saying. 

Surely there is no right or wrong here. If one technique doesn't work, we can always try another. 

Wish all of this was as easy as pulling a pack of stickers out of my purse. 

The stickers, for now work like a charm. Isaac likes the fruit stickers and the butterfly stickers,...he hasn't seen the race car stickers yet,...I am saving those for when we get closer to pulling out that little plastic potty.

At the end of the day when Isaac is finally asleep and the house is quiet, I listen to my heart, and find it grateful that Isaac is so healthy and strong, that we do have so many options for his treatment, and most of all that we have been so blessed to have Isaac in our life: he is a dream, we never dared to dream, but he's our reality and that is truly the greatest blessing of all!

Until I post again,...may God bless and keep you!

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