At 42 Degrees

At 42 Degrees

Friday, March 6, 2015

No Expectations

Three years into Isaac's diagnosis and I've learned a thing or two about parenting a child with Apraxia and Autism,...

Now Isaac is five years old, he has a January birthday, making him my only winter baby and during my entire pregnancy I wore a snowflake pendant for my miracle child,... 


Let's be clear,...Isaac is a miracle. My husband and I didn't think we could have other children to the point, I missed nearly all the signs of my first trimester, because at 44 years old, I thought it was menopause beginning! But, no, it was Isaac arriving into the world to teach us how to live in the moment, each and every moment, and enjoy life without expectations! 


When I look back on the past five years some of the greatest stumbling blocks as a parent and some of the greatest despair and sorrow have been founded upon unfulfilled expectations,...those missed milestones,...the should be's, and could be's, and would be's which are NOT, and all those pesky: why's - that like to daunt us:

Why my child? 
Why us? 

There have been tears, and despair and depression too, but not for Isaac, he is the only person in the entire world not concerned with his condition,...because to him,...he doesn't have a condition, except that he has to patiently deal with a world,...that just doesn't get it at times,...but patience and forbearance seemed to be part of this child's DNA,...he'll work with us,...it's OK if,...we don't understand,...Isaac is not going to hold it against us,...and Mama's learning the ropes.

Number One rule: No Expectations. 

This doesn't mean that hope is lost, quite the opposite, no expectations, for us, means that our hope can never be lost or destroyed,...we walk by faith, not by sight,...and unfulfilled expectations can never taunt us, because we live with Isaac, which means life is not dull, we're continually amazed, and delighted by this child,...he is as he is,...and we delight, as we work toward goals, in his gains, made in his own time, because we're not expecting our child to be anything other than himself,...so we don't say:

"Isaac is five years old, he should be doing this, this, this and THIS!"
Nope, that's the easy road to heartbreak with a child on the spectrum.  Instead we say:
"Isaac is five years old, and he can do,...this and this, and THIS!!!" --- add lots of WooHOOs!

No expectations means we get to discover the world with Isaac,...and don't forget, Isaac experiences the world in a different manner, and he makes sure YOU do too,...I think it's his life's mission to help us see the world in a different manner. Shake things up, folks. 

Example: A visit to a zoo in not just a visit to see animals, but to experience the wonders of so many different shapes and textures. It is natural to expect that a child would like to look at elephants, but Isaac likes to examine the fence in front of the elephant exhibit,...totally cool bamboo structure, and to Isaac the elephants are just there for decor. 

Until I could wrap my mind around the wonders of how Isaac views the world, I was pretty much devastated that my child could not experience a trip to the zoo like I EXPECTED him to. So trust me, no expectations, for me equal no heartbreak, just joy. 

Although with Isaac there are no expectations, there lots of guarantees

With Isaac there will be tea parties


And sweet moments,...


Discoveries,...



Demands!!!!


Curiosity,...


Complaints,...


Silliness,...


POPCORN!!!!


Giggles,...


Late nights,...


Sign language,...


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The unexpected,...


Singing,..


Close calls,...


Hugs,...



JOY!!!


No worries,...because Isaac knows the way,...


And No Expectations,...because Isaac is as he is,...and that's pretty wonderful!


Until I post again,...may God bless and keep you!

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